One of my core values is honesty. Being honest with yourself means being also authentic. I worked a lot on myself, discovering what held me back from being honest and authentic. What was that that was not allowing me to show my vulnerable side? I always thought I had to be tough and strong, not giving people reasons to judge or criticise me. Keeping an impenetrable aura. But the last two to three years, I learned so much about myself that I discovered a new me, which even I didn’t know existed.
I acknowledge I didn’t have much relevant work experience, success, or a fantastic career. And it happened because I didn’t know how to choose something that would make sense to me, that could make me happy. I made choices in this area of my life, not from the heart and respecting my values, desires, and dreams but from conditioning. I based them solely on the outer world, beliefs resulting from experiences, interactions with other people, family, and society.
For a long time, I thought I was just a mother and a housewife, and I felt so ashamed and incomplete for that, for not having a career. This is somehow the norm, isn’t it? Every conversation with some new acquaintance began inevitably with “What do you do for a living? Where do you work? After they introduced themselves with half a dozen positions and career realisations, I began to feel inevitably small and unimportant, to feel not enough.
So, I found a job that could have made me look worthy, for others, of course.
Multinational, friendly and exciting environment, travel on sites worldwide, and bosses looking at you at the eye level. I could have said my dream came true.
Wrong! Trying to be satisfied and fulfiled this way was like building a durable sandcastle. Mission impossible! At least for me. I felt trapped in a golden cage, and I only wanted out. I wanted to be free again.
The conclusion was that adding job descriptions after my name left me more unfulfilled and unhappy because none of these resonated with my inner self, my heart.
Yes, I know, what a luxury problem! Not having to work and still having a good life. Yet, my perspective was different. I spent a lot of energy and time on useless thoughts that made me unhappy. If I had known what I know now …
It’s impossible to be successful and feel happy and fulfiled so long you make decisions under feeling pressure from outside, without considering your heart and your values.
When I realised my futile struggle, the decision was simple; I will do nothing that hasn’t passed the values and the heart’s test anymore.
From that moment, thoughts like “you are not good enough” or “you are invisible”, “you have to prove to be worthy” disappeared from my decision-making process.
And I challenged these thoughts whenever they came into my mind until they didn’t bother to come up anymore.
This changed everything!
Now, I know who I am. Besides being a mother, wife, woman, sage, world being, particle in the Universe, I am that, that cannot be limited by words and definitions.
I found my calling and my vocation. Still, success does not come so at once. It needs work and dedication.
But you know, when you believe something IS possible, no one can stop you. I am guided now by the constant awe generated by seeing a world I didn’t know existed. I am enthusiastic, motivated and determined to make my dream come true.
I believe, actually, I know we can create happiness and fulfilment in our lives only when we act and decide from and with our hearts. We can change our lives by being authentic and honest with ourselves, which eventually will be reflected in a better world.
And I can help people (re)connect with their hearts. I can teach them how to bring together the power of the mind with the wisdom of the heart for making the best decisions.
When we become aware of our infinite potentiality and are inspired for transforming the potential into reality, then and only then we will create a life of happiness and fulfilment.
How is life for you now, and how would you like it to be?
If you had known how important it is for a happy and fulfilled life to be open and honest with yourself, how would your life be different?